Long-winded

I guess I'm not very good at blogging and I'm certainly not good at figuring out exactly what I want to say and saying it in a straight to the point manner... see just like that :-)
anyway since my last blog I have been trying to work on the things that I used to like to do for myself that I haven't been doing these days.  So I got my hair highlighted and cut and got my nails done pink and white full set of course. my hair would look better on a daily basis if I actually made the time to do it! but sleep beautiful sleep is currently a stronger desire, more likely an escape actually than the desire to look better and more put together as put together as I could look.
However tomorrow Thursday is typically my day off, but I'm going at 8 AM to get my hair styled for a photo shoot for my work. Me and a handful of other people had been chosen to represent Wells Fargo employees in an advertisement/brochure kind of thing. So I'm kind excited about that. But nervous at the same time. Nervous that these pictures come out okay seeing how I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my whole life and now my image will be encapsulated for time and all eternity and every employee that works for Wells Fargo will be sharing it too. But I am looking forward to it I think is going to be fun.

I've been thinking about doing kind of a silly thing. Last year I tried to have weight-loss surgery but because of my disability the surgeon refused for health reasons to operate and he suggested that I go on the postoperative diet and see how that worked. Well I didn't do that at the time but I'm thinking about doing it now. I know this sounds kind of out there maybe even a little bit off but I want to kind of hypnotize myself and mentally have weight-loss surgery. I know that sounds Looney Tunes even as I type it, it sounds ridiculous. But I'm desperate and I need to do something. I told my husband and probably because he loves me he didn't say I was a nut case but he was concerned that eating such minimal amounts might make me sick. But people who have weight-loss surgery don't eat that much and they don't get sick. the surgery limits the size of the stomach so they would still need the same amount of nutrition as I would need. The biggest difference is their stomachs physically won't allow them to overheat where as mine is the size of a small child and can consume mass quantities. So I plan to get the protein and vitamins and the soft foods that someone who actually had weight-loss surgery would need.
Crazy? Probably. But like I said before I'm desperate. And as the title of this blog entry states. I'm as long-winded as ever. Too bad that doesn't burn calories.
Have fun